Horrible Mood

I have been in a horrible mood lately. Last 3 days have been off. Red Robin wants me to move into management. It isn't what I like. I seem to settle for second best. I took it because once again I do not feel in control. I don't feel loved or needed. I am putting fatima out of my mind for a minute and i feel alone, lonely, vulnerable, and upset.

I settled once again. Fatima wants more time with Erika than me...Erika is going through a tough time. I am trying to allow Fatima the space she needs. Sometimes I am overly needy. I admit it...am i wrong? I need to feel (emphasize feel) loved. Last 2 days have made me feel unimportant. Both in work and in love. Fatima is spending lots of time with Erika. Maybe I should...stop making assumptions as always...Brain...for once in your life..SHUT THE FUCK UP. Fatima loves you she is just occupied with Kah-Kah because of the divorce.

Let it be known I have needs. Fatima may be able to go weeks or months without seeing me, however, i cannot if I am in a commited relationship. I am not her EX. She is not mine.

I will let her know that I am sad about her decisions, but they are hers to make. Whom she chooses reflects her true choice. Eyes tired...

I love me

Until next time...
Chad BordesComment