Waking up to gray
Do you ever have one of those days where you wake up after not much sleep and feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. You have one of a million things on your mind, such as bills to pay, going to work at a job that you may not love, getting a not so great, but truthful email from a friend, or maybe its a phone call or text from someone that you have hurt in some way. You try to shake off the gray, but it wont go. You try to find the inspiration, but because the fog is so heavy, you feel socked in.
Today was one of those days. I got in late last night from a flight back from Boston and in the midst of sleeping for an hour on the plane, like a dumb-ass, when I got home, I couldn't sleep. I finally fell asleep at 4am. I woke up to a gray existence outside. I also felt the weight of my mom's cancer on me. Its this inevitable force that pushes down on my chest and makes me realize that she is not going to be around forever and that I have to go visit her and be with her during this (practically) impossible time of hope in my life.
Life is what we make it and starting off, this day was gray, very gray. But as I began to sift through the pieces of my life, I realized that much like the aftermath of a tornado or a hurricane, you begin to find out whats important. Pictures, friends, loved ones and family. Car notes will fade away. Money, although it is a staple for our society, will wither and lose value with time. Even your Klout status will fade as you age. Its the people on the journey that you can count on. The true friends with whom you have a solid relationship, who you have gone the distance with and at any moment in time can pick up the phone and say, "Hey, you are on my mind and I want to know why"
Begin sorting out your pieces today. What is real to you and what can be replaced. Is it your stuff? Your family? Your kids? or even your health? Stop finding (or looking) for what is wrong in your life, and start to find what is right. Trust the process and believe that its not all bad to be here for the brief instant we are. Cherish the friendships and what is real and NEVER stop trusting your intuition. It is a gift from the Universe, God, Allah or whatever your higher power may be. We are here as one and we go as one.
Until next time.