So I have been feeling very uninspired lately. I can't write, can't focus, severe bouts of anger and resentment, pain in my back and an all around shitty attitude. As many of you know, I was in Maui and before you go off on your "poor bastard" speech, let me tell you it was no walk in the park. It was long hours and lots of tension, which I try to field and normally don't let get into my psyche, but on this particular day it crept in like a fog off the pacific on a luke warm day.
I seemed to be running around like a mad witch in search of a newts eye on this particular program. I couldn't focus and found very little respite in spite of it all. I did have an amazing view from the 18th hole and the 9th coming up behind us, but something was off. I met our first security officer, Steve, on Friday for the start of the tour. Steve was a very soft spoken but nice guy. He greeted all the participants with a smile and an "Aloha". His attitude started to rub off on me and I began to see things differently
The last two days of the tournament, I was blessed with the presence of Randy Gallegos, who used to live in the mainland as a mortgage broker. This guy has a heart as big as IZ. Welcoming smile, generous handshake and a very kind voice. We began talking and I shared a little of my life and he shared the same with me as friendships go. He pointed out something to me in my desire to become enlightened and that was the concept of "enough". Lately, I have been having struggles with buying into the whole system (many of you know this as you are invested in family, cars, mortgages etc) and just being content with what I have.
Randy shared with me his struggles on always wanting more and in that conquest for more, he began to drift away from what was really important to him, which was time. Time with the family, time with friends and time to work on the things he really loved. He shared with me that while in LA, he never seemed to have "enough". He was always looking for the next best thing. He said since he has moved to Maui, that he continually has "enough". He has enough time, enough love and enough of everything he could ever need.
I realize that my cup is always full. I always have enough. I have enough love, enough time and just enough friends. Its not to say that I don't welcome more in any of those areas, however, I am slowly recognizing the abundance in my life and that I don't have to always listen to the lingering, foreboding thoughts in my head that try to teach me otherwise. It is with that thought that I wish you "enough" as you move forward into 2012 and the rest of your years.
Until next time...