Finding the within

My whole life seems to be a journey about finding myself.  We have all heard the stories about losing oneself to find oneself, going off to foreign countries to discover our true self, we begin a path of spiritual pursuit.  My journey is much like that.  I happened to find myself on a cool august day in a class with Hamid in Bali as the light breeze was flowing through the shala. He said, you can go all over the world to find yourself and the truth is that the answer lies within.

We spend our whole lives on a fruitless pursuit of trying to figure "this thing out".  We try to minimize our existence to just ourselves, but the truth is, its much greater than that. The inner journey begins with recognizing, as cliche as it may sound, that "wherever you go, there you are".  You can go to bali, you can go to india, israel, New Zealand, spain and any other place you can think of and the truth is, we all need to go within.

The more we look outside ourselves for things, the less we are going to find and have faith in.  Yoga has taught me that I am complete, whole and perfect.  It helps me to focus on mind, body and breath.  It changes your beliefs from impossible to possible and tells you that all the shit that you learned up to this point is just that----shit.

Im not particularly flexible.  My teachers and classmates would attest to that, but it doesnt mean i dont stop trying to get into a pose while breathing. See for me it isn't the pose that is the goal, its the act of doing. Its taking the nothing and turning it into something.  Its setting the intention that there is only this moment and time and the universe will work out where I go from here.  I have had to shut my monkey mind up a few times because it wants to resort to the past and all the shit i haven't done, or the business start ups I have failed in, or the relationships that I walked away from, or the hundreds of jobs that fill my resume history.

I am not perfect, I am however, the change I wish to see in this grand universe.  With capital markets failing, and consumerism losing its luster, I begin to see clearly that the choice I made a few months ago to walk away from everything, was the right one.  So what if I have to take my shoes and my backpack and walk all of Australia, I will have some amazing adventures and meet some amazing people on this journey, which is what it is all about.  Meeting and Experiencing.  Looking at things every time with a fresh set of eyes and a new perspective.  A perspective of hope and resonance within your spirit that today will be the best day of your life, that this moment is to be glorified among all others as it may be the last.

Im learning that my passion is a daily thing.  What I love to do one day, i might not like again the next.  Im learning that If I get up and put one foot in front of the other, that amazing things will come.  I am learning that human relationships are as amazing and wonderful as the reverence that we put into them.  Love is my religion and I will gladly share my thoughts with you over a cup of tea or watching a sunset.  I love music and singing and that is where my passion lies.  Everyday I will make a point to sing a song I love, or meditate under a tree.  God is within, life is within, and love comes from within, not out there as we have been taught.

My gift is my ability to connect and leave a mark on the person I have connected with, no matter how big or small.  I cherish the connections I have made and realize without them, without my family, friends and acquaintances, my life might not be as rewarding as it is. I allow the universe and love to guide my actions and sometimes I make mistakes, but I don't dwell on them as long anymore.  Much like meditation, I recognize the thought or action and let it pass by like a leaf floating by in the river.  Where your passion is, there shall your heart be also.

Im not the best yogi in the world.  I won't be a guru, nor do I ever want to be one.  I am just a man on this journey.  I have found my "within" and want to share that with the world.  Im not here to preach, judge or condemn----just love, respect and share.  I would love to have a published book, or a song that went viral on you tube, but those things are surface.  The deep to me is I will keep showing up and doing the work, the Yoga, the stretching through tight hamstrings and low back, the awkward breath (do i breath in on this pose or out?), because this is who I truly am.

I may be penniless, but I am great in spirit and that is my gift.  I may not have a house, but the world is my home.  I may not pray to god, but I honor the deity within.  Thank you to all my subscribers, family and friends.

Namaskar Namaha
Chad BordesLife4 Comments