Opinion Piece: Making your life yours

Mark Manson Crushed it with his THE FEAR OF MISSING OUT: OR HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE INSTAGRAM.  If you haven't had a chance to read it or you don't follow him, do both. He is a gifted writer and seems to write articles exactly when I need to read them. Aside from growing a mullet, drinking beer in a fold up chair, or drinking jack daniels "Leaving Las Vegas" Style, he is definitely a breath of fresh air and a source of my sanity.

A few weeks ago I gave up social media. Completely.  No Facebook, No Instagram, No Snapchat, No Tumblr, No Twitter...nada.  The only social I will be doing is old fashioned phone calls and writing in my blog (aka my journal). I always had this fear that I was missing out on something. I would see cute little families with their perfect post, or I would see these amazing vacation photos and think "Man I wish my life was that good".  This happened every single fucking day.  It was like a religion.  I would wake up and check the social media bible to see how my life was stacking up.  It was like an episode of groundhog day. Wake up, watch social media feeds that were better than my life, be sad all day, go to bed to see how my day stacked up, and get even sadder before bed.

Finally, a few weeks ago I said "Fuck This" I am over this social media addiction.  This need to check our phones over 200 times a day when in actuality our "day" is all around us. I always wanted to have the life that everyone else was having but in truth, my life was here.  I kept trying to run away from what was right in front of me all the time.  Instead of investing in my friendships here in California, I ran away thinking that I could start over somewhere else.  There is a problem with that however, the friendships you make while traveling are fleeting. The relationships, the true friendships we have and that mean shit in this world, are the ones we invest in, cultivate and truly care about. 

When I walked away from the social media world, I had withdrawls. I wanted to re download all the apps, but I kept saying no. I switched over to a flip phone for a week and something interesting happened.  NOTHING.  Not a damned thing.  No text messages, the world didn't blow up and my phone wasn't ringing off the hook. (Update flip phone died. Have been using a smart phone with NO Apps on it, only texting and calling) seems to be working fine. I guess having discipline counts for something.  I don't bring my phone to dinner anymore, I don't bring it into the movies, I don't bring it anywhere and so far the same thing is happening (nothing).  The world didn't explode.

Its a different way to live your life not attached or should I say addicted to something. I think we are all addicted to something in one way or another.  Love, money, sex, our jobs, netflix, gaming. I am learning it is not about letting something consume you. As much as the poets, like Bukowski said, find what you love and let it kill you.  I think life will do a great job of that for you.  We don't know when our number is up and truthfully there are too many addictions to allow them to kill us. Im gonna try living my life and enjoying what little, or lot I have of it left.  I'm gonna fight for the things i believe in and stop accepting when shits just not right.

This Fear of Missing Out occurs as an irrational thought in the brain.  See someones vacation and think "theirs was better than mine".  See someones boyfriend/girlfriend and think "Their's is better than mine" I think Mark said it best in this paragraph:
FOMO is self-invented psychological torture. It’s a figment of our mind’s worst imagination. It’s that irrational belief that everyone is always having more fun than you, at all times. That life’s epic moment is always just around the corner, and you’re a dumblefuck dickface for staying home and not participating in it. It’s the irrational belief that the next place/person/event is going to be the perfect one and you’re missing out by focusing on wherever you are or whatever you’re doing. It’s hanging out with nine different friends each week and not feeling close to any of them. It’s going to five different bars on a Friday night and hating every single one because you can’t stop thinking about the next one down the street your friend is at and is probably way cooler than wherever you are.
FOMO is becoming a big issue with our generation for the simple fact that our generation has the most options and choices to choose from. This has been famously called “The Paradox of Choice” and it’s pretty much why the more amazing things get, the less happy we all become.
I like to look at it like "Create more love in your life and time won't matter"  At the end of your days you will look back on a good life and not one wasted in timelines, instagrams and snaps.  Not just the best of moments, but all of them. I will keep doing my blog because I love writing and getting inspired by things I see, amazing people I meet, movies I watch and Music that moves me.  I will share with those that want to listen and hopefully you get inspired as well.

To those of you that read my blogs/medium.  Thank you.  I truly love your support and friendship.  Thank you for listening to my rants, and reviews and music inclinations.  I really appreciate it. I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving.  Having family is 🔑. Next week I will be posting about Kent...the awesome Uber/limo driver that actually gives a shit about people and values relationships.

Until next time...
Chad BordesComment