Love is our Essence

So I have been feeling out of sorts lately.  Not really sure why.  Weather, Life, Job.  There are lots of reasons I guess.  As many of you know, I am an interfaith minister and marry people for a living.  It is not a full time thing but rather a part time hobby.  I love doing it, but lately, I have been feeling mini resentment when I perform the ceremonies. Why would I feel like this on such an amazing day?  One of the main reason is that there is a part of me that is jealous that these two amazing people found each other in this awesome universe.

There is always the argument, "Well you don't know what goes on behind closed doors and it may not be as perfect as you imagine and to that I say, you are correct. Nothing in life is perfect, however, when you have someone that loves you, it makes it all a little more okay.

In a strange way, I know I need love. The first thing I see when I read blogs and self help articles is "If you don't love yourself, you can't love someone else".  I disagree 1000%. You see I believe that you can love yourself, but that often times loving someone else makes you love yourself more.  This is because when you love, truly love someone, you have someone that sees past any imperfections, any past demons, crazy college stories and past hurts, and loves your for you! Sometimes you need someone who can see past your shit, to the essence of you and because of this, you start to believe that you aren't half bad.

When I look back at love in my life, I know that I have felt like I was on top of the world. I felt like I was working for a purpose, not only my self interest and greed. Bring in the thought of children, and the idea of self, slowly starts to slip away.  I read an amazing article written by the ever so talented Jessica Wildfire.  If you haven't read her, please start. She is gifted in her craft, a natural and a true writer at heart.  She started her article by saying
You Don’t Need to Find Yourself. Nobody ever reaches complete self-awareness.
Further on she quotes:

Sometimes, self discovery feels like shit. It happens whether you want it to or not. You can hide from it, or bury what you know, but the day you stop discovering yourself is the day you die.
Self discovery feels like shit because, in my humbled opinion, you are digging through mis truths that you have been taught all your life.  And to her point, it happens whether you want it to or  not.  The more you live your life, you start to remove ideals you have held in long standing. You begin to question everything around you, everything you have learned and everything you thought you knew, and you begin to feel something inside you change.

Maybe this is because you are getting older. You realize you don't have to be a certain way or hold on to outdated ideals. You begin forming opinions and thoughts that are not popularly held by friends or maybe even society.  In my humbled opinion, love is our reason for living. Today when I stopped into Mcdonalds for a cup of coffee, I saw generosity.  I saw a guy buy a homeless man breakfast.  I thanked him for his generosity.  He said he was living on the streets for 7 months and knows the struggle. " Everyone is right around the corner from being homeless, they just may not acknowledge it". To me that is one of the most powerful truths in our society today.  Stay Humble!

Find love in whatever way it manifests to you.  This could be your family, could be spending time in a park watching ducks, may be watching videos of cute animals, or it may be just thinking about that special someone in your life.  Find it, relish it, cherish it and never let it go. It is truly a gift.

Until next time...